 Every year since 1991, a bunch of the guys from the Get a Life Baseball League and their invited guests take a road trip to Phoenix, Arizona. The reason? Major League Baseball's spring training! Smaller stadiums, perfect weather, and a casual atmosphere, there is no better way to enjoy baseball. If you're a baseball fan, you owe it to yourself to catch some spring training games at some point in your life.
 On the way to Arizona, we stop in Laughlin, Nevada to spend a night and do some gambling. The goal is to get out of there without making a major dent in your budget. Every once in awhile, one of us kicks ass in the casinos, and has a much better trip. While in Laughlin we have our traditional Road Trip Kickoff Dinner at the Hickory Pit Steak House. Our group commandeers a large table and has a good (though somewhat loud) dinner. It's a great way to get the trip started.
After dinner, a night of gambling, and the placing of my usual bet for the Padres to win the World Series (which I have yet to collect on), we wake up the next morning and head for Phoenix. This is not a scenic drive, but it is a necessary evil. We take 93 from Kingman, Arizona to Phoenix, which used to be a pretty harrowing drive, as the road was lined with white crosses where fatalities had occurred. Over the years, and after many improvements, it's not quite as bad.
 We are a casual group, and enjoy eating at fine dining establishments, such as Hooters, The Heart Attack Grill, and Old Chicago. While on the road trip, we religiously observe the "Rob Rule," which states that while on the road you can't eat at any restaurant that you could eat at when you are home.
 One year we discovered Sparky the Bread Lizard at the hotel. He was being held captive in the hotel's bar/cafeteria. It was obvious that he was being oppressed, so we did the noble thing and liberated him from captivity. Some old man snitched us off to the hotel management, but we eluded capture. Here, Sparky is at the Rockies-White Sox game. Unfortunately, Sparky died only a few short months after this picture was taken. At least we can say that his last days were happy ones, and that he did not die in captivity.
 We normally get tickets to five games, all of which must have at least one National League team. The National League is where the only REAL baseball is still played. No DH silliness! Occasionally we get a rainout, which is always tragic. In those instances we retire to the hotel for poker or watching the NCAA basketball tournament, as it cannot be escaped during March.
 During the games our group plays the "Cup Game." We discovered this game at HoHoKam Park a few years ago when some Cubs fans were playing. We stole the game and improved it to suit our tastes. Bob Hogg (at right) is the current record holder for the largest pot won, taking a whopping $56 on a Brian Johnson home run. Basically how it works is that at the beginning of the first game of the trip, each member of the group puts a buck into the cup. Then a group member is randomly chosen to hold the cup, and the cup gets passed to the next person after each at bat. If a home run is hit, the person holding the cup wins the contents. If the batter hits a single or draws a walk, it is a push and the cup is passed. If the batter makes an out, the person holding the cup must deposit a quarter. If there is a double play, the holder of the cup deposits two quarters. The triple play is progressive and stood at $10 when it finally happened. In 2007, Tyler was the first, and so far only, victim of a triple play. If the last batter of the game does not hit a home run, the pot carries over to the next game. Any time a home run is hit, after the winner takes his spoils, all group members re-ante a dollar into the cup. At the final game, if the final batter does not hit a home run, the contents of the cup are awarded to the person holding the cup on the final out.
 Also during the week, we crown the "King of The Road." The competition was originated years ago by Bob Hogg, and is contested annually, unless we don't feel like it. The reigning King of the Road does not carry his bags, or fetch his own drinks while he wears the King of the road medallion.
 Also, during the course of the week, the Rookie of the Year is determined. Rookies on the trip each year have no voting rights in any matter decided by the Veterans. Rookies must carry the bags of the reigning King of the Road, and fetch his drinks. They are also generally abused as the Veterans see fit. The Rookie that best discharges his duties, and performs the most admirably is named Rookie of the Year in a vote of the Veterans Committee.
 Anyway, we just use the whole trip as an excuse to get away from jobs and other responsibilities for the week, to have a great time hanging out with friends, and to watch baseball. Spring Training is a supposed to fun and relaxing, but sometime people just don't get it. One year, we had a cranky old man sitting in front of us with his sphincter wound just a little bit to tightly. So of course we spent most of the day annoying the shit out of him, just as a reminder to not be a dick.
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